The campaign to "Ban Bossy" is getting a lot of attention right now. Lean In and Girl Scouts are collaborating on this campaign to ban the usage of the word "bossy" from our vocabulary. The premise is that since "bossy" is an adjective applied mostly to females, young girls who are told that they are bossy often exhibit less and less of their leadership qualities over time. The end result is fewer women who are willing to be assertive in the workforce.
There are many people lauding this effort, and probably as many criticizing it. While I certainly don't like the word "bossy" (and I'm intimately familiar with the word since I was a young child), I also think it's a little extreme to go around banning words. Instead of banning bossy, why not ban what it stands for - gender double standards? The kind of double standards that this Pantene commercial so beautifully portrays. Labels aren't going anywhere, but we can ensure that we don't apply some specifically to a particular gender. If we're going to call men assertive, let's use the same word for women instead of referring to them as pushy/whiny/nagging or the other b-word. The same goes for assertive (men) vs pushy (women), or passionate (men) vs aggressive (women).
Banning a word isn't going to change how little girls perceive their behavior. Changing adult mindsets so that they are mindful of the weight gender-based labels carry just might stop adults, and therefore their children, from blurting out "bossy" or "whiney" or something similar in the playground or workplace. The same way I used to flippantly say "Oh, that's so gay!" till one day gay friend pointed out to me that it was not a very respectful phrase to use. I didn't think about the impact my words could have. I haven't used that phrase since, and every time I hear it, I gently bring up the point that using the phrase might be hurtful to some people. The same goes for the word "retarded". There are several other such words and phrases that I would use without thinking because they were OK where I grew up, but I stopped using them when I realized the impact they could have. Sharing my thoughts with friends and family when these words were used led to some people modifying their vocabulary. It's a ripple effect. Ethnic stereotypes are very common where I grew up, but living abroad opened my eyes to how insensitive I could without intending to. Sharing these perspectives can enable other people to realize how they are hurting other people, and it allows them to modify their behavior, and their children's behavior, and so on.
In my opinion, a changed mindset is more powerful than just banning a word. Ban one b-word and several others will pop up. Change a mindset ... and well, the rest follows.
Maybe someday we won't have the icon of her time writing songs like this because the words just won't be true anymore. I can hope.
There are many people lauding this effort, and probably as many criticizing it. While I certainly don't like the word "bossy" (and I'm intimately familiar with the word since I was a young child), I also think it's a little extreme to go around banning words. Instead of banning bossy, why not ban what it stands for - gender double standards? The kind of double standards that this Pantene commercial so beautifully portrays. Labels aren't going anywhere, but we can ensure that we don't apply some specifically to a particular gender. If we're going to call men assertive, let's use the same word for women instead of referring to them as pushy/whiny/nagging or the other b-word. The same goes for assertive (men) vs pushy (women), or passionate (men) vs aggressive (women).
Banning a word isn't going to change how little girls perceive their behavior. Changing adult mindsets so that they are mindful of the weight gender-based labels carry just might stop adults, and therefore their children, from blurting out "bossy" or "whiney" or something similar in the playground or workplace. The same way I used to flippantly say "Oh, that's so gay!" till one day gay friend pointed out to me that it was not a very respectful phrase to use. I didn't think about the impact my words could have. I haven't used that phrase since, and every time I hear it, I gently bring up the point that using the phrase might be hurtful to some people. The same goes for the word "retarded". There are several other such words and phrases that I would use without thinking because they were OK where I grew up, but I stopped using them when I realized the impact they could have. Sharing my thoughts with friends and family when these words were used led to some people modifying their vocabulary. It's a ripple effect. Ethnic stereotypes are very common where I grew up, but living abroad opened my eyes to how insensitive I could without intending to. Sharing these perspectives can enable other people to realize how they are hurting other people, and it allows them to modify their behavior, and their children's behavior, and so on.
In my opinion, a changed mindset is more powerful than just banning a word. Ban one b-word and several others will pop up. Change a mindset ... and well, the rest follows.
Maybe someday we won't have the icon of her time writing songs like this because the words just won't be true anymore. I can hope.
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